Friendly Bombs

Come friendly bombs and fall on us!
Those numbers lied upon the bus:
It really wasn’t worth the fuss.
It wasn’t fair.

Come friendly bombs and drop on May
She shouldn’t last another day.
Yet staggers on still, come what may,
Till we despair.

Come friendly bombs and fall on Boz
A lazy, lying louse, because
His only aim: to be the boss
Must think we’re nuts.

Come friendly bombs and drop on Mogg
And throw his top hat down the bog,
Attack him with a rabid dog,
Tear out his guts.

Come friendly bombs and fall on Fox
Free trade? Just put him in a box
And take him to the nearest docks.
Dump him at sea.

Come bombs and smash up dour Arlene
Who thinks she’s higher than the Queen.
Her bigotry is quite obscene.
Set Ireland free.

While Putin smiles and rubs his hands
And Trump and all his right-wing friends
Make mischief in these weakened lands.
The little shits.

We’ve now become a laughing-stock.
The other leaders laugh and mock
At Britain, which was once a rock,
Now broke to bits.

We’ve pissed off all our dearest friends,
It’s too late now to make amends
And no one knows where all this ends
As pennies drop.

Come, friendly bombs and fall on UK
The country has run out of luck.
And who now really gives a fuck?
Just make it stop.

With acknowledgements to John Betjeman

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